Her Hidden Fear
by londongrammar
Summary: 'When she was younger her parents had read her a story about a swan that was turned into a beautiful princess at night, but the reality of life was much less glamorous' Written for the Phobias Challenge.


Her Hidden Fear

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, only the plot.

Achluophobia – Fear of darkness

* * *

Petunia Dursley was only afraid of the dark after her sister died.

The letter left to her and her husband by Dumbledore was always at the back of her mind, haunting her.

'_Killed by a Dark wizard named Voldemort.'_

'_Sacrificed herself for her son.'_

'_Betrayed by a supposedly close friend.'_

Those were the fragments of a broken life, causing pain and heartache.

It was just too much to deal with…

The night after she found Harry on her doorstep, she tossed and turned for hours, hoping that her husband wouldn't notice before eventually drifting off into a dreamless –yet restless- sleep.

It went on like this for years

The truth was -and she would never admit this to anyone, not even Harry himself- but she was scared for him. She was scared for her nephew, her son and even her husband. Scared that there was something out there that could take them away from her, like the force that had taken her sister away.

Of course, when Lily left for Hogwarts, things were never the same between them, but she still loved her sister, and Harry was the last connection Petunia had to her.

Even if he _did_ look painfully like that Potter boy, Petunia could still see Lily in him; his eyes, mainly, but his heart as well.

…

One night, she dreamt of Voldemort killing Lily. After that, she was even more terrified of the dark. She would stay awake for hours after Vernon went to bed, claiming she still had cleaning to do, just sitting there until exhaustion took over, trying to convince herself none of it was real.

She was drowned and crushed by the darkness, it left a dreadful mark on her that no one would ever see.

Night-time was a curse for Petunia. When she was younger her parents had read her a story about a swan that was turned into a beautiful princess at night, but the reality of life was much less glamorous.

Heavy bags under her eyes were covered by an equally heavy amount of make-up; she hid her secret fears by trying to perfect every single thing in her world.

Sometimes he wondered if it was actually worth it.

'_What's the point of lying to myself?'_ she would think.

But she had to. Admitting something, _anything_, meant admitting defeat, and Petunia would never do that. Like her sister she would fight until the end. She _had_ _to_.

For her son, her husband, and most of all, for her nephew.

Although she never openly showed any love to Harry, she would (in her own peculiar way) try and protect him.

When Vernon had put those bars on his window she wondered if the madness would ever end. This wasn't what Lily would've wanted… God, no one would want to see bars on their child's window.

She knew that Harry had his schoolbooks hidden away, and that he did his essays in the middle of the night, so as not to disturb anyone, mainly out of fear, but the point was still there.

Lily had done exactly the same thing during her school years. She hadn't wanted to see the face of her sister marred by hatred and jealousy so she sacrificed her sleep to make sure all of her homework was done.

Petunia thought that her fear of the dark was some kind of ironic revenge.

She never told Vernon about the books.

…

When Harry left, and she had to go into hiding, she made him promise her one thing, even though she knew she didn't deserve to.

"Promise me you'll tell me how it turns out…" she had said "For your mother's sake. I loved her very much. Even if I didn't say it…" then she raced out of the door to go to her husband and child.

Several years later after a particularly bad night Petunia saw an owl sitting on the fence of her new home. It was carrying a letter.

She smiled.

Inside the envelope was a short letter that said nothing, yet everything.

'_Aunt Petunia_

_Voldemort is dead. It wasn't easy, but with the help of the one's that I love, we managed to pull through it._

_We suffered some serious losses, and as a result I've been left a Godchild named Teddy, he was the light that came along at the end of the dark tunnel._

_I married Ginny, and we're going to have a child soon. I'm so excited._

_Maybe one day we'll meet again and I can tell you what truly happened since the last time we saw each other._

_I hope you are all well._

_Until then,_

_Harry' _

When she woke up the next day at 2:37 in the afternoon, she laughed. Yes, that night, for the first time in many, many years, Petunia Dursley had a decent nights sleep.

She no longer had to be afraid of the darkness that crept in through the windows at night, nor the darkness that took her sister away from her.

All was well.

* * *

Written for the 'Phobias Challenge' by pippi55 on the HPFC. Reviews are appreciated, and I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
